Find yourself a fangirl/boy to date. Sure it’s probably borderline obsession, but you’ll actually be thankful that it is.
Find yourself a fangirl/boy who understands unrequited love – and is okay with it. They get over the denial when they see your perfection, and they will love you unconditionally and obsessively, even if you don’t return it.
Find yourself a fangirl/boy who has patience beyond understanding. From waiting in queues to buy the latest album, to waiting years for a comeback, to waiting for a reply on Twitter (Yes, the one that’s never going to happen, sadly.)
Find yourself a fangirl/boy who blurs the lines between “romantic poet” and “puddle of emotions.” The expression of love and infatuation is indistinguishable. You know that they adore you, and exhaust their dictionaries just to attach adjectives of adoration and perfection on you. Even though they may not be Shakespearean-quality, their notes of love, or blog posts brought about by their emotions (read: hormones), you’ll find yourself very much appreciative.
Find yourself a fangirl/boy who is jealous. Okay, maybe not the ones who go beyond the norm, and will threaten anyone who comes near you within a three meter radius.
Find yourself a fangirl/boy who enjoys every little thing you do – yes, that includes breathing. Every move you make drives them crazy. “Oh my gosh he winked!” or ” Awww, that is so cute! She dropped her handkerchief.” Loving the little things!
Find yourself a fangirl/boy who is meticulous and has hawk eyes. They don’t need binoculars to see that you’re wearing a limited edition 10 karat diamond ring that came in a Tiffany & Co. box, released in 2010, manufactured only in three countries. They know the details of the hemline of your clothes, the accessories you like to mix and match, and the juice box you were sipping when you were waiting at the airport. They do have an eye for details, don’t they?
Find yourself a fangirl/boy who is far better than the CIA when it comes to gathering information on you, your sphere of influence, or your schedule for the next three weeks. You wouldn’t then have to worry about forgetting what you’ve to do next. They’ll be a secretary of sorts, reminding you of your itinerary, and maybe tag along your trips once in a while.
Find yourself a fangirl/boy who will immortalize you – in the form of fanfiction. Iffy, yes. One instance you’re a firefighting, Nobel prize-winning, intellectually blessed football player, the next, you’re a refined, third generation heir of a sprawling mansion in Canberra (you don’t even know where that is.) who plays the cello. Pick one.
Find yourself a fangirl/boy who is more efficient than The Marriot’s room service. 24/7, any time of the day, anything from anywhere – no matter how mundane or impossible it is you want, they will find it and get it for you. Water from the springs of an unchartered mountain in South America? Sure. A chocolate frog? You got it. A vintage DC comic book in mint condition? Find it or die trying.
Find yourself a fangirl/boy who has learned to give up their own rights to love you unconditionally. No matter how crazy they may get, they’re pretty much dedicated to making you happy, keeping you in check, and lavishing their love on you.