Not everyone gets to count to twenty

Twenty years. What do two decades sum up to?

A span of twenty years would be enough to change a country’s economy. It could also be enough for one to accumulate wealth. It could mean a lifespan of somebody.

If anything can happen in a day, what more could happen in twenty years?

I turned twenty today. A mark of a milestone. I am privileged, and absolutely beyond blessed to have reached this age, because not everyone can and not everyone does. The circumstances of life pull us away from such a phenomenon.

If you think about it, easily outside of our comfort zones and our homes lie a multitude of barely-there individuals who struggle day in and day out without the commodities that a few hundred thousand enjoy. But beyond the lower class, the poor and the impoverished are those who are deprived not of physical, material and financial resources, but the people who consciously take their privilege of living as they succumb to powers greater than poverty – that which is depression.

It did not need to take me a hundred of these cases to know that it is a serious matter. I instinctively developed the affinity towards those who fall to this, because I understand life given to me, to us. I grew up cradling life in the palm of my hands as I learned more about my story in life.

I was a premature baby, and to add to that, I was a miracle baby. Growing up, I was quite accident prone, getting cuts and bruises here and there; I was also an asthmatic, and I would always be sent to the hospital, if not being nebulized all the time, and because of being sickly, I was stick thin (not anymore, come see me, it’s quite unbelievable.) This cemented my belief that life is but a glass vial precociously teetering up on the top balustrade of a fifty foot tall building. Forgive the analogy, but I would like to emphasize the word fragile. Because it is, and people should understand that.

The fact that we have the ability to take away our lives, or choose to live it out is such a dangerous responsibility. Without the knowledge of a purpose, what would motivate us to keep going?

This is the very reason why I would love to speak to people – every chance I get – about how their lives are precious to those around them. It breaks my heart when they are blinded by depression and low self-worth that they are inclined to believe that they are worthless and nobody loves them. Believe you me, friend, someone does.

This post is not about me, it never was from the very beginning. My birthday today is but a realization of how far I’ve come from a fragile little kid, to an enthusiastic and overly hyper young adult.

I want to put this out frankly: God loves you and has a plan for your life. There is nothing more God wants than to love you with all His heart. He who holds the universe in hands longs to embrace you and give you a life beyond your definition of abundant. Tell me if that isn’t enough of a reason for you to keep living. The enormity of His love will swallow you, your depression, your loneliness, and the false whispers of the devil saying that you are not enough.

You are more than enough in His eyes, believe me! For every slash of a blade you make, the more Jesus embraces you tighter. Hold on, and listen to His voice. Hear him through the lies, through the insecurities, and the hurt.

The very reason why I am alive today is because of God’s unfailing love, never-ending grace, and abundant joy that flows in me through His Holy Spirit, and I want to share that with you. I have never done or considered suicide, have never slashed upon my wrists or whatever, but my heart – in alignment with Jesus’ heart, goes out to those who do struggle with these everyday, those who choose to inflict pain upon themselves. If it were possible to go to every person and hug them no matter how long it takes for them to break down and realize that they are loved, I will do it. I hate hearing news of lives being taken by the most dangerous and capable of people – themselves.

I am thankful to the Lord for every day He gives me, I thank Him for the sunlight that shines upon my face every morning that I wake up. I thank Him that I can go to school, go to church, go to fellowships, be with friends and family, and come home to a warm bed. So many things that people neglect just because they think they’re not enough, or that the popular kids reject them. Why trade in your big blessings for petty problems?

Everyone should know that they are blessed and they are loved by the One who made them. Every day is a chance to fight and to live. Do not take that privilege away.

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